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Small Rant

September 18, 2013

Don’t you wish you could rewind your life? Not undo the mistakes you made, but make more of them? So you can look back and learn from what you did and grow as a person?  I’m 25 years old, and I’ve let my life slip through my fingers. I see everyone around and think, “Can’t I just swap with them? How happy and great they seem to be, walking along with a partner or group of friends”. I left school thinking I was lower than dirt, I couldn’t make friends at college. In fact I couldn’t properly socialise until university, and even then I still felt out of place. And now after university, I’m almost as isolated as I was before it. I still can’t understand why I had to be the way I was when I was younger, it was like I couldn’t reach out and grab the things that were around me… but other people almost had the ‘permission’ from a higher power. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not sure if the next 25 years are supposed to be my best parts of my life… or were the last 25 years the ones that I was supposed to be paying attention to? God knows, but whilst this swims around my head, it’s hard to be creative.

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